Remember COVID-19, Poy

I made this letter for 30 years old me in the future. Damn, I'm old b*tch.

23 March 2020,

Poyyaaa, apa kabar ?

Retoris banget ya pertanyaannya hahaa. I hope you’re always in your best state tho in the future.

Eh lo masih inget gak sih sama Corona aka Covid-19. Iyes, ini wabah menjengkelkan yang mengurung lo di rumah dalam periode yang sampe saat gue ngetik ini, belum ada ketauan berakhirnya kapan. Gue ingetin ya kalo lo lupa, lo itu bete banget deh di masa ini. Semua kerjaan dan studi jadi online which, udah face 2 face aja kadang gue masih lemot, gimana online coba. Di future gimana? Masih lemot? Gue penasaran banget sih lo kalo ngajarin anak lo ntar gimana hahaa. Kerjaan gue pun tersendat, gue masih masa probation coyy dan tiba-tiba datenglah ini kabar, amblas lah semua deal. Tapi yasudahlah, pada akhirnya gue masih bisa berpikir sehat kok, nyawa lebih penting daripada sekedar lolos probation. Pacar gimana pacar? Cowo gue termasuk kategori orang yang high alert sama wabah ini so, dia bener-bener jaga jarak dan itu membuat gue frustasiii.

Nah jadi ini sebenernya udah entah hari ke-berapa dari self quarantine, yang pasti gue udah bosen banget. Gue gabisa nongkrong di starbucks, gabisa nonton di XXI, dan gabisa kuliah dengan benar (cieee). Kata peneliti sih, wabah global kayak gini tuh sebenernya normal dan akan terjadi secara regular sebagai bentuk resistensi bumi terhadap semua bad things yang dilakukan manusia (secara scientific tentunya kayak polusi, dll). Gue berharap dimasa depan, saat lo baca tulisan lo sendiri ini di hp Samsung yang entah udah S berapa dah udah ga ngerti lagi (oh hp lo today S10+ anyway), sambil rebahan di dada suami lu, semoga gak ada lagi wabah mengerikan kayak gini. It’s super terrifying sih mengingat jumlah kasus dan orang yang meninggal, well I guess Thanos is doing his job tho. Stay safe Poy! And keep your family safe too!

Udah sih itu aja, gue Cuma mengisi waktu luang setelah online class, sambil nunggu ngantuk. Pasti lo baca ini juga malem-malem khaann! Hahaa gue tau lah waktu-waktu tertentu diri gue bisa kepikiran untuk bernostalgia baca hal-hal kayak gini. “Udah sana tidur, jangan begadang, jaga badan beb!”, kata Agus.

The Coldplay

Bisakah gak sih hidup kita seindah lagu Everglow?
Sedamai ngeliat Chris Martin main piano?
Sebahagia dapet tiket konser Coldplay?
Se-so sweet lirik fix you?

Kenapa kalau di lagu semua bisa terdengar terlalu indah? Bahkan untuk sekedar dinikmati telinga aja kadang gue suka jijik sendiri.
Hidup gue gak seindah lagu-lagu Coldplay, lantas apa gue harus belajar melodi Metallica?
Atau gue harus tetap 'berdarah-darah' menyelami maksud dari tiap not piano yang dibunyikan Chris Martin?

I've lost myself in you. Accidentaly.
Now, I don't need Coldplay to sing 'fix you', but can you be the one who did that instead of sing it?
Cause I heard enough.

If you won't, that's okay, for me there's always a Coldplay :)

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Indonesian Premiere Version)

This year I got a very special chance to fulfill my fangirl side. Yap, Tuesday, 13 December 2016, finally I got a chance to watch the PREMIERE of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story!! After last year I has to stand for a quite long queue in order to get those tickets of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, this year guess what!? I got it for free guys! Well it all began when I looked at my facebook home and I saw the Star Wars page post, they held a contest with a premiere ticket(s) as a prize. There’s only 10 tickets for 5 winners, at first I think “mehh.. I never win anything when it comes to a contest..”, but in the end I still joined that contest, hahaa. It stated that I have to mention one of my friend and make a team name with a unique reason. Well, because I’m a good wordsmith I decided to mention my boyfriend (yea, who else its gonna be) and make a team named “The Tie Fighter Crasher”, sounds rebel huh, but still with the empire touch hahaa, and the reason was because we love that vehicles (Tie Fighter) and I think we’re about to crashed it. Let us learn from those intergalactic pilots! And BOOM, a message came to my facebook inbox and said that I got 2 tickets for premiere, 1 day before its public release at the theaters. At that time, I really feel so blessed as a fans of Star Wars. Thank you Disney Indonesia for the tickets!!

D-DAY (13 December 2017)

The premiere was held at Gandaria City XXI. And it was BEYOND my expectation! I never thought that this premiere will be like the “real” premiere, you know. There’s Kevin Aprilio and Giring ‘Nidji’, a lot of Star Wars cosplayers, outstanding photo booths, and there I am, not even wearing any single Star Wars property, I feel dumb.

Location: Gandaria City XXI

Then, I met Ms Decintia, the one from Disney Indonesia to exchange my copy of ID with the tickets and tadaaa another bonuses, we got free drinks, popcorns, and a butter cookies. So happy!! Before entering the studio, our phones are being kept by the committees for the sake of the secret of the movie, you don’t want us to spoiled the story via our socmed, right?

So then, from 7 – 10 PM we enjoyed the atmosphere of being among the fellow of Star Wars geeks. It feels so right to be in the middle of a group with a same interest, its like when you saw a scene and you feel like you really wanna clap your hand, you’re not alone, cause everybody also want to clap. And we clapping our hand together, awesome.

After the movie ends, before we exiting the studio, we got another surprise! A goodie bag! Which contains a K-2SO head pillow (I already owned the First Order Stormtrooper, R2-D2, and BB-8, so I have 4 now. Yippiiee!) plus 2 Star Wars medallions which I haven’t got yet. Oh! And when I walked out from the studio, a reporter from CNN Indonesia stopped me and ask for a short testimonial interview. And that’s it guys, everything feels so completed that night.

The Goodie Bag tho... 

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

To be honest, I like this Rogue One better than The Force Awakens. Why? Because the storyline in Rogue One is unbelievably surprising and unpredictable and also make all things seems to be possible and make sense. You know that feelings when you wondering “why is my cake in the fridge missing??” and a few days ago you found out that you just misplaced it in the wrong shelf, and you will said “OOHHHH….”, yea that kind of feelings lah, hope you get my point, LOL.

For the first background story from Star Wars series, Rogue One is definitely blown my mind. Letting me know what’s “behind” all of the coincidence, the big war, and also the plot in all the Star Wars series. But still, beneath all the new characters and stuff, there’s still some old touch that will appear in this movie, such as Darth Vader iconic appearance in the rebellions mothership (THIS SCENE IS SUPER AWESOME) and…. Get ready to meet Princess Leia Organa once again! Oooppss sorry! Well, at least I’m not telling you in which scene she will appear, right! Hahaa. Please forgive me :D

Well, I’m not going to spoiled any further, hahaa. But all I can say is, if you wanna see the real “Suicide Squad”, well this one is for you. Until now I still can’t believe that the storyline maker of all the Star Wars series is a human, I mean, the storyline was fckin brilliant man! It’s like, really?? Seriously? You’ve been thinking through more than 20 years for a perfect line of all the saga? Even the backstory? This is INSANE, I tell you this is INSANE! The characters are incredible, I love Cassian Andor, because he’s the handsome one LOL, and also I adore Chirrut Imwe, he was amazing and inspirational for sure. And, last but not least, Jyn Erso, sorry I have a hard time differentiating you from Rey, but you both are absolutely the coolest girl ever in the galaxy. K-2SO hahaa, you guys gotta see it yourself, he’s funny I tell ya.

Well, that's it guys.. Please go to the cinema and watch Rogue One, 'cause it's good for your eyes and brain, LOL. 

Peace out,

-Fo. xoxo.

Dan seberapa inginnya kah kamu meraih kehidupan sesempurna yang ada didalam pikiranmu?

Sudah bukan rahasia, bahwa katanya hidup itu bisa menyiksa tapi juga buat bahagia. Sudah rasa kah kamu dengan belenggunya? Bagaimana dengan dilematikanya? Wah, silahkan jalani, aku ingin tahu bagaimana kamu hadapi, sendiri. Ya, sendiri, dengan siapa lagi? Kamu lahir dan mati juga tak ditemani, begitu juga masa tengahnya yang harus kamu jalani.

Aku sudah. Memang belum seberapa, tetapi segini saja aku sudah gak kuasa. Bukan apa-apa, otak ku masih gak bisa terima, biasa ku atur hidupku ini seindahnya mimpi dalam benak. Sekarang, bahkan waktu untuk berimajinasi saja aku tak punya. Bagaimana bisa, aku wujudkan kehidupan sesempurna yang ada didalam pikiranku?

Jadi, harus bagaimana ya? Campakkan yang didepan mata, cari yang belum tentu ada? Haha, lucu ya cara kerjanya semesta. Selalu buat manusia bertanya. Argh! Aku masih bingung! Sampai akhir tulisan ini aku masih belum tahu harus apa. Huft, lagi-lagi bertanya.. yang jawab siapa? Siapa?

-F.

Happy 22'nd Birthday, Me!

I am looking forward to this! A free time to finally pouring my thoughts to this empty Ms Word file. Even now it’s 00.05 in the morning and I gotta go to work tomorrow but, yesterday is my special day and I don’t wanna miss the moment. Well, yesterday, 27 July 2016 is my 22’nd birthday, yes I’m getting older. But not that old tho. A lot of birthday greetings, a lot of wishes even mostly about that kind of ‘nyebar undangan’ things, but I really thankful for that. Especially for remembering my birthday. Thank you guys!

I’m that kind of person who really don’t want to grow up. I mean, what’s the point of growing up? Be a career freak person so you can turned to that boring friends who always can’t make it when the other friends invite you to their party? Hell no. I’m not turning into that. And also what’s exactly the indicators to make you called as a grown up woman? Tight skirt? Chiffon blouse? A straight tied hair? A glasses which can make you look like a sexy secretary? Or even a flat shoes? Trust me, I try all of that and still I come back as this messy-shirt holic-sneakers addict person. It’s just so not me for sure. So what can I do?

And then this happen in the night of my birthday day. Back then, after work I usually went to the gym with my longterm-lovable boyfriend. I change my clothes and jump in to the sauna room which reach 80 celcius hot that time. There’s only 1 person there and to avoid the conversation (I hate sauna room conversation so much) I put my towel on my head to cover my face and just sit there, enjoying every each drop of sweat falling down all around my body. And suddenly I can feel why Peterpan never want to grow up.

At that moment, as soon as I’m starting to think “wow, I’m turning 22 today!”, a thousands things get in to my head as an unsolved problems. It’s sucks. A millions of “what if” makes you re-think about everything you already do in your life. The feelings of getting a year older push me to think about what else have I done before today? Is that anything great from that? If it’s nothing, so make one big things then! You can’t waste your time Fo! It feels like there’s 20 peoples mocking you at the same time. Could you imagine that? I guess that’s what makes me sweating a little bit more rough that time.

Well, this kind of ‘feelings’ of being afraid, ashamed, confused, don’t know what to do, what to say, was the true feelings of being a grown up woman, I guess. So, I feel like I can and I want to stated something here. Maybe growing up isn’t indicates by performing like a sexy secretary, a week full of schedule, or even how fluent you talk to your client at work.

For me, growing up is the matter of ‘when’ and ‘how’. When you can answer all that silly “what if” question, and how you deal with it. For now, a lil bit ashamed to admit this but, I usually have a cry time on my birth date every year. It’s the moment when I feel like completely lost and don’t know what to do or say, and I will just sitting here, typing on my keyboard while thinking about what my life could be, and let the tears cry for help to God. Cause I’m not yet grown up. And I don’t know when I can answer those tricky question called life.

Happy Birthday, Me J

Hope you a better years ahead. Keep being strong, cause that’s 1 thing I know about you. Cheers!

First Thing First on 2016 (I got a job!)

Ulalaa.. My first post on 2016..

Well, i'm kinda a busy person now. LOL. and I already got a job mann, how cool is that!?

I'm working at a startup company called mamorae, which is an online marketing platform for everybody. So, yeah.. now you can got some additional money to pay your saturdate by being our buzzer, just go to www.mamorae.com and sign up as whoever you wanna be, buzzer or merchant.

Okay enough for the promo (i wonder if i got paid for this promo, lol), let's talk about life..

Gue gak tau apa yang terjadi, tapi semenjak masuk ke dunia kerja, semuanya tampak berubah. I'm not the most diligent and ambitious person but all i know is, i want to make more money and for that reason, i found myself drowning on a sea of freelance jobs. I never imagined that i could turn into this workaholic monsters. Yang gue tau, dari dulu sampai saat terakhir kuliah, gue berani melabeli diri gue sendiri sebagai anak malas (yang beruntung), hobi gue tidur, nonton starworld, dan dengerin lagu di hp, that's it. But now? Gue cuma mau komplain 1 hal sekarang, 24 jam sehari itu gak cukup buat melakukan semua pekerjaan gue. Gile. Rajin. Banget. Parah.

Gak bermaksud buat memuji diri sendiri, tapi kenyataannya memang begitu. Gue cuma lagi heran aja. Heran sama diri gue sendiri yang katanya pernah janji untuk gak akan meninggalkan gaya hidup masa muda yang hype dan edgy banget itu. Faktanya, gue malah turning into this good-but-bad-monster. 

Sebagai catatan, pekerjaan gue sekarang bisa dibilang merupakan pekerjaan idaman hampir semua orang. Waktu kerja fleksibel, atasan yang asik, outfit sehari-hari nyantai, perfect. Plus i got a job that suits my education background. But, yeaa... i ruined it (again). Why?

Gue sekantor sama pacar gue, ketakutan semua pasangan untuk kasus seperti ini ternyata bukan bualan belaka, tapi yang ini sebaliknya.. Bukan masalah hubungan yang kebawa-bawa ke urusan kantor, tapi masalah di kantor yang menggerus hubungan gue. Etos kerja, perbedaan pandangan, de el el yang membuat gue sering berdebat, mau gak mau ya memang mempengaruhi, sekuat apapun gue coba untuk memisahkan.

Well, i can't do anything now, i'm the one who brought him to this position. And i'm feeling a deep dilemma where i have choose between my carreer or love. Gue merasa bodoh ketika harus mengalah dan memilih untuk keluar dari pekerjaan gue sekarang demi mempertahankan pasangan tetap berada di zona nyaman nya. 

Ya tapi bukannya cinta itu memang bikin bodoh ya?

To be continued...