Made and Burried

And when you finally know that love is just not that good. When someone left you in a moment where everything could be so blurred. And suddenly there's no single word that can describe what you really wanna say. You shut up. It's not a give up moment, not even a relents. It's the point when someone realized that she's just not meant to be there anymore. 

It is always been an immortal dilemma. When you realized you're not meant to be but you still think that he's worthed. The question is "is he really worthed?". One day he treated you like a queen, full of love, patient, touch, kiss, and you're overwhelmed. And the next day he treated you like some other girl that he just known for about 6 months. This is impossible to be think about.

Everytime he started to talk about his feeling, i feel a bad things will happen. There's always a strong selfish aura that someday i just can't handle anymore. And i didn't know when exactly that day would come, or is that day come too late? And once again, when you finally know that love is just not that good? And when you know, will you do something? Do you willing to release them? The one who made and burried your life alive.

A Break Up Letter

Hey, i love you. Sorry for being so selfish and annoying. I know you never mean to hurt anybody's heart, including me. It's not really your fault to be that complicated, i give up try to knowing what's going on in your head, it's way too hard. Im sorry i can't be the one to help you make up your mind to be better. But trust me, i've tried, and it just doesn't work well. 

I wanna thank you for all you have did to me. All that you sacrifice for me. Your precious time, your energy, your private life, your feelings. Thanks for taking care of me, cooked for me, teach me everything about car, its way too precious. You're the best thing i've ever had, thats for sure. But like people say, sometimes the best thing was just only can be seen not to be owned. I know if i owned you, its like hugging a sun, so proud but hurt much. Im just a 20 years old girl, you're right, don't ever expect something from me, i am a dissapointment. Now that i know i only can say i love you undirectly, cause if i do it in front of you, im afraid i can't control my emotion. Its because, yea you know, i still love you but i love myself too.

Just so you know, the main reason to this break up is not because i don't love you anymore. I can't be your dream girl, i usually pushed you to my wish, i beg anything to you, sometimes im jealous of your ex, i checked your phone. I can't delete it all, not all, its me. Im sorry. And so do you, you can't change. I think thats more than enough to explain the reason. I don't know why, i was so attached to you. Its hard for me to be alone again. But just like you always say, if it doesn't work, why pushed it ? 

So here we are, back again to the start point. Im wishing the best for you, always. 

Thank you and i love you, too much :)